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WHEN CANCER CALLS – BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.

I wake up to a gray, dreary morning the day after Valentine’s Day. My 7 year old son rolling around in bed next me announcing what time it is and insisting I get up. I don’t want to. There’s an underlying force in me that just wants to stay put in the warm cocoon of my bedroom; the safe reassuring weight of my heavy down comforter. Five more minutes buddy. It’s been 3 days since my mom’s biopsy. Beneath that underlying force that keeps me curled under the covers is the looming thought, “Is today the day? Is today the day I find out my mom has breast cancer?” My mind drifts to the  ...

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LISTEN TO YOUR HEART STRINGS

His name is Cory. He is young and I would guess he is about my age in his mid to late thirties. He is always wearing dark pants, a puffy, navy blue bomber jacket, baseball cap, and a red backpack slung sideways across his back. He walks with his hands stuffed inside his pockets; his head slightly down. There’s a sadness; a heaviness to his gait as he walks down the sidewalk-less, narrow, and curvy road toward town. I’ve passed him dozens and dozens of times as I drive my littlest one to and from preschool. I’ve always wondered what his story is. Who is this man? Is he  ...

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STARE FEAR STRAIGHT IN THE FACE

Most times when I sit down to write I have no idea what I am going to write about or where my words may take me. Tonight was no exception, until I learned about these two teenagers, Bailey Holt and Preston Cope; two precious lives that were taken this past Tuesday in Kentucky. I don’t know what it is like to drop your child off at school and then later learn they were killed during a shooting. I cannot even fathom this pain that so many parents in our country have had to bear. Really, I am at a loss for words. And now I realize it – words are useless right now – because  ...

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THROAT CHOKED. EYES OPEN. BREATHING NORMALLY.

Remember that time you cursed your yoga teacher out (in your head of course because doing that out loud would just be plain rude and so un-namaste)? Oh yeah? You want to curse them out like every class you take? Or maybe you just plain wanted to murder your yoga teacher? But c’mon, any honest yogi knows that would be totally going against the first yama outlined in the Yoga Sutras which is the principle of ahimsa which basically means to not wish harm to any living creature. And ….you know …. murder is against the law and seems kind of harsh. I mean just because the  ...

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THE GOOD THING ABOUT GETTING THE FLU

Have you ever been so sick that your whole body hurt? Like even your hair; down to the follicles and all hurt. Ow. Hell, even your pubes hurt!? Double ow! Yeah that was me about a week after Thanksgiving. I went to yoga one morning feeling fine only to run completely out of gas half way through class and then BANG! A few hours later my body was wracked with the chills. The next 48 hours were a haze of fevers, aches, fatigue, and endless doses of Tylenol and Motrin. It was miserable. But I was determined to “take advantage” of being practically bedridden. I was determined to  ...

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THE TRUTH IS I DON’T CARE

How many of us have watched MLM’ers via social media? Or maybe you actually are part of a multi-level marketing network. The truth is I don’t care. And no one else truly cares either. I don’t care about the shiny white Lexus. I don’t care about the promo trips or the convention. I don’t care about the products or what they will quote on quote “do” for me. I don’t care about the parties; nor do I care about the free gifts. I don’t care about the perfectly staged photos. I don’t care that you are “doing it all.” I  ...

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THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT WE CARRY

It’s Monday. We are all carrying around our proverbial luggage. And let’s face it. It’s heavy. How good would it feel to just put it f*cking down!? You know when you are schlepping groceries into the house, or perhaps your briefcase, gym bag, & your big puffy winter jacket; or maybe the 3 boxes from Amazon Prime that the UPS man left on your doorstep? You feel bogged down. How would your life be different in this very moment if you just put it down? If you just let it go? What can you put down right now? Perhaps it is a belief, a grudge, a worry, or maybe even a  ...

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THE TRUTH ABOUT NOT GIVING A F***

This summer I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK by Mark Manson. Honestly, I had forgotten about the book until today when I realized and admitted I was caught in a moment of not giving a f*ck. But in that startling moment, deep down I really did give a f*ck; I was just pretending on the outside I didn’t give a f*ck in order to maintain the facade of a calm and confident woman. When really inside, I felt like I was teetering on the edge of DEFCON 1 i.e. nuclear war. Does anyone have a f*ckin’ clue what I am talking about?!? We’ve all had those moments, right?! You  ...

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THE TRUTH ABOUT PARENTS

So I’m working on writing a little more “dangerously.” What exactly does this mean? It means telling the truth, being brutally honest, and facing fear of judgement. Ironically, one of the 25 things you don’t have time to read about me is that I am judgmental. This is something I am shameful for. So I have fear surrounding the whole “write dangerously” concept, because I am afraid of judgement. I fear something that we as humans are naturally wired for! I fear something we all do to one another on a daily basis. I can hear the little voice now,  ...