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THE PROBLEM WITH MOTHER’S DAY

Here’s the problem. I don’t like Mother’s Day. You don’t like Mother’s Day. We don’t like Mother’s Day. And everywhere you go signs of it are in your face. Cards, flowers, jewelry, brunch; it’s a marketing heyday. This year US citizens are expected to spend $23.1 billion dollars on this day. And did you know that Mothers Day originally had nothing to do with celebrating mothers!?! I mean c’mon! How absurd is that! Check out this piece on Elephant Journal for more history on the day if you are interested.

There’s a million reasons why we may not like Mothers Day. Maybe we are grieving the loss of our own mother or child, maybe something terrible happened to us on this day, maybe we detest the commercialization of the day, or maybe we have 4 kids and we just want to be left the “F” alone instead of going out to brunch. Maybe we DO want to go out to brunch with our family but our husband has to work. Maybe we are a single mom who needs a BREAK. Maybe we want to go away with our girlfriends for the weekend but they all feel “too guilty” to leave the kids and we don’t! Maybe we desperately want kids but are having fertility problems. Maybe … (insert your own reason here). Personally, for years, I initially didn’t like Mother’s Day because my brother suffered a tragic motorcycle accident on this day that left him paralyzed and the day always used to dredge up waves of heavy trauma. Those waves have significantly subsided and now I don’t like Mother’s Day because of the cultural implications surrounding the day. The “holiday” implies that mothers are different and above other women – the “non-mothers.”

The commercialization of the holiday; the loss of connection to the historical intent leaves the non-mothers grieving. They sit alone on the dusty side of the road as the rest of us cruise down the interstate with the top open and the wind in our silky smooth Pantene hair. This is a problem.

Trust me. You are not alone. I promise. You won’t have to look far to find other women who don’t like this holiday. So what do we do about it? The solution to the problem of not liking Mothers Day is to reconnect with the intention of the origin of the day……..

And that is for women to unite for peace in the world. And where do we start? Well, peace starts with you. If we want peace in the world; if we want to change the world; START WITH YOU. Look at the teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Choose kindness as your religion. Go inward with gratitude for your experiences; your life. Then, and only then, gaze out at the other women in this world. Reach out to them with warmth and make a difference in their life. Pick up the phone and dial (and I don’t mean text). Let us actually dial their number and have a conversation using our voices. Pick up the pen and handwrite a note. Pick-up groceries for your neighbor. Arrange a playdate on a rainy day and let the kids watch TV so you can talk over tea.

And if it moves you, go bigger. Get a group going. Work together to make a difference. Look for ways to make small changes within your community that will have a big impact. It only takes 1 step to start moving.

So forget about all the commercialized crap circulating about for this Mothers Day. Don’t even feed it an ounce of your energy. Instead, use that most powerfully awesome cluster of molecules for YOU. Take care of YOU. Do something that will nourish YOU – because peace starts with you.

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